TADpole

The last few days the Tadpole has been acting very out of character. She has been freaking out and throwing fits at the drop of a hat–and quite willing to drop said hat herself. She is just a little nervous about having a new baby in the house. Still, yesterday was especially bad. It was essentially one LONG screaming fit from one side of the day to the other. My favorite part was when she told me I was a mean daddy (final count was three times!). Each time I had to resist the temptation to break out in uncontrolled laughter.

It is so frustrating when she gets like that. So it is important to say that I think it is so fun to have a three year old. Even when she is throwing a tantrum and completely wild I just can't help but think how great it all is. I read an interesting article from the Harvard Magazine recently. It seems that children produce a net decrease in overall happiness. This makes perfect sense to me. It is natural we would respond to frustration by becoming less happy. It is NATURAL to see a screaming child demanding special attention and then NATURALLY be less happy. It is also NATURAL to see that children, over the long run, demand a lot of time, energy, and resources. So NATURALLY we should be less inclined to be happy as long as we have children. It is NATURAL.

Well here's the thing. I, for one, am not natural. Sure, I am a natural creation, subject to all manner of natural phenomena and influences. Yeah, right, aren't we all. But I am not a mere organism. I have the ability to overcome nature, literally and figuratively. I'll be the first to admit that there are a lot of people that would disagree with me and point out that no matter what happens we are merely the product of our own experience. To them I say: exactly right. However, our existence did not "magically" or "scientifically" begin at birth, nor was it achieved through some series of developmental milestones.

I think it sad that people would see children as a mortal necessity, what you are supposed to leave behind as part of a natural process. How narrow minded and naive. Children are important because of WHO they are, not because of WHAT they are. Case in point: When Bri was pregnant with the Tadpole, I would play with her by pushing on Bri's stomach. A moment later the Tadpole would respond with a series of pokes, kicks, and jabs at my hand. This time around when I push on Bri's stomach a game of hide and seek is begun, wherein the baby moves to another part and holds still until I poke and prod again, and the game is repeated. It is an exercise in individuality.

It doesn't take a genius to see that these two children are very different already. The idea of happiness is based on different criteria for everyone, sure. For me, a temple worthy, Married-for-time-and-all-eternity, returned missionary, happiness is not directly dependent on the natural world or logical assumptions based on experience. Happiness is a progressive factor, that is: it creates increase in our being, a source, and means, of progression. So even while trying to not pull my hair out while telling a three year old to pick up her toys, I can see and use the moment as a glimpse of happy development and progression for both myself and my daughter.

Happiness, after all, is UNNATURAL anyways...